I'm glad you're writing more about your disability. It helps us all understand better. So amazing what you've accomplished. Loved the way you laid this all out - and as a bonus, always, the bird pics.
I can't remember if I've shared before, but I have several people close to me who have various levels of TBIs and I'm always grateful when you write about it. Forgive the unsolicited readings, but I'm curious if you ever venture into critical disability studies/crip theory literature? I highly recommend Eli Clare (any of his books) and Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha (also any of their books). Sending you good wishes (& gainz!!!) for the new year!
That is wonderful to hear--that's a big reason I feel compelled to write about TBI. I have never read anything by either of those writers! I kind of just nerd out over the neuroscience. I will add them to my TBR pile. Thank you for reading and for the well-wishes.
It gets better every day with a brain injury. Just keep going and you’ll find ways to improve all your skills. I believe that you can do anything that you set your mind to. The body holds trauma.
Even when others can’t see it. When your cord gets snapped in your brain and your memory go all over the place they have to find their home again and that takes years. Your story has helped me so much. I’m sorry that it happened. But keep showing yourself and others what it’s like to be alive. Thank you 🙏 for sharing and making me feel less alone.
Lilian, your comment is making me tear up. It makes me so happy that my writing reaches other survivors who find value in it. That’s my whole motivation in doing it. Your positivity and forward-looking optimism are precisely what leads to good outcomes with brain injury. Thank you.
Excellent piece! I had a TBI many years ago. It was much less severe than yours. My brain was scrambled for a long while, though.
Yes, it’s a long and emotionally vexing process, to push that boulder uphill. Our brains do rewire, however, to the degree possible. Neuroplasticity is a fascinating subject.
My way of coping with life challenges is to research the hell out of them. Understanding something often quells anger.
Thank you! I agree that neuroplasticity is fascinating, it's also encouraging. I cope with this by researching the hell out of it. Thank you for reading and for the kindness about my eyepatch.
James, I’m in Camp 3. I want to read about and see your photos of birds AND read about your ongoing TBI recovery. My own TBI will be 10 years ago in June. As you have so eloquently described, recovery is not linear and may never reach the prior baseline. I tell people very simply that I have come a long way during this time, and I’m deeply grateful for what I CAN do. There’s a lot I have no memory of after being hit by a car, but I do remember when a friend asked what brings me joy. Easy answer. Birds, birds, birds! I’ll try again to figure out how to opt in to your other newsletter. Following written directions is just one thing that I still stumble with but I’ll try again. 😆 Thanks for sharing so much. Yes you’re helping others in more ways than you can imagine. 🙏
Thank you, Diana. Recovery never ends after a TBI; I was on a podcast this morning about TBI recovery and while everyone's injury is different, one consistency seems to be that neuroplasticity is a wonder.
Another undeniable truth is that birds are magical and make life feel worthwhile. It was the chase of birds that led to my TBI, and it was the case of birds that got me through the hardest parts of recovery.
To opt in, just go to your settings, go to Rock and Hawk, and then select that you wnat "Onward." I think I'm going to make it so people automatically subscribe when they do to Rock and Hawk. Makes more sense to have people go through effort to opt out than to opt in.
I like your idea of receiving both newsletters with one sign up where we can opt out of one or the other in the future. Thanks and continued healing and great birding for you.
What a beautifully shared journey James. I’m happy Larissa tells you it’s cool, because it is. Succeeding at law school while pushing that large stone uphill is worth shouting about to the world. What takes an uninsured brain with clear vision to accomplish is not even in the same ballpark as what you are achieving. Wear it proudly. You are a true representation of determination and success, and now, sustaining love during one of the most demanding challenges of your life (law school…). Proud of you, my friend.
Thank you so much Teyani. I know you understand this type of adversity better than most. You are a source of dauntless inspiration. Uphill medical battles are terrible, but are also extremely clarifying. What matters? What warrants worry? What doesn't? It's a high price for those answers, but if it has to be paid, those answers are valuable.
Less severe TBI, but similar area injured, I think. The docs didn’t tell me at the time, along with not telling me when I left the hospital about my broken eardrum drum or nerve damage (crocodile tearing syndrome). Different times. Went back to college with massive vertigo from the broken ear drum and difficulty ordering anything with Swiss cheese due to the brain injury. The vertigo resolved. Some consonants are still more troublesome than others.
Sorry for the delay in replying! I am so sorry about your broken ear drum, and that some consonants still pose issues sometimes. I have days where speech feels great then others it feels like years of progress were undone, then the next it's good again. TBI is a lifelong ordeal, we've just gotta keep pushing. Thank you for reading.
This is a meaningful piece, James, and I recognize the courage and fortitude it represents. Thank you for sharing; one step at a time is a useful framing, and so is the dark humor and defiance of some great thinkers. You've added to this narrative/history of thought.
You do wear a cool eye patch. I'm glad you are embracing who you are in this moment. You are multi-faceted as you noted. This was a great read James. I am humbled in my own discomfort and pain by your embrace of your own.
James, Yes, we do “all get our own share of discomfort.” Some of us get more than others, but we learn to manage what we get, absolutely. I am working on the latest iteration of my discomfort trying to figure out what’s next. I just know I will keep moving forward, that is a given!
"The longer I live with my disability, the more I write about it... it defines me. My charge is to ensure it defines me in a meaningful way." You are a hell of a writer with a hell of a story, James. What you share is relevant to each and every one of us. You continue to inspire.
"I push my stone each day. It will roll. I’ll push. I can either see that as unfair misery or find joy in pushing. I choose joy. " I understand the wisdom in this! As I age ( and I am old, old, old), every day is a stone to push. But I am grateful for each morning I wake up and I will continue seeking the joy in it. Push. Breathe. Laugh. It is the best we can do.
Sharron, I appreciate your comment, kindness, and taking the time to read. Thank you so much. Shouldering a stone is all about perspective--whether that stone is age, disability, anything. We all have something. Breathe, laugh, push; gratitude.
I'm glad you're writing more about your disability. It helps us all understand better. So amazing what you've accomplished. Loved the way you laid this all out - and as a bonus, always, the bird pics.
That means so much to read, Susie. Thank you.
I can't remember if I've shared before, but I have several people close to me who have various levels of TBIs and I'm always grateful when you write about it. Forgive the unsolicited readings, but I'm curious if you ever venture into critical disability studies/crip theory literature? I highly recommend Eli Clare (any of his books) and Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha (also any of their books). Sending you good wishes (& gainz!!!) for the new year!
That is wonderful to hear--that's a big reason I feel compelled to write about TBI. I have never read anything by either of those writers! I kind of just nerd out over the neuroscience. I will add them to my TBR pile. Thank you for reading and for the well-wishes.
It gets better every day with a brain injury. Just keep going and you’ll find ways to improve all your skills. I believe that you can do anything that you set your mind to. The body holds trauma.
Even when others can’t see it. When your cord gets snapped in your brain and your memory go all over the place they have to find their home again and that takes years. Your story has helped me so much. I’m sorry that it happened. But keep showing yourself and others what it’s like to be alive. Thank you 🙏 for sharing and making me feel less alone.
Lilian, your comment is making me tear up. It makes me so happy that my writing reaches other survivors who find value in it. That’s my whole motivation in doing it. Your positivity and forward-looking optimism are precisely what leads to good outcomes with brain injury. Thank you.
Excellent piece! I had a TBI many years ago. It was much less severe than yours. My brain was scrambled for a long while, though.
Yes, it’s a long and emotionally vexing process, to push that boulder uphill. Our brains do rewire, however, to the degree possible. Neuroplasticity is a fascinating subject.
My way of coping with life challenges is to research the hell out of them. Understanding something often quells anger.
FWIW, I think the eye patch is cool!
Thank you! I agree that neuroplasticity is fascinating, it's also encouraging. I cope with this by researching the hell out of it. Thank you for reading and for the kindness about my eyepatch.
James, I’m in Camp 3. I want to read about and see your photos of birds AND read about your ongoing TBI recovery. My own TBI will be 10 years ago in June. As you have so eloquently described, recovery is not linear and may never reach the prior baseline. I tell people very simply that I have come a long way during this time, and I’m deeply grateful for what I CAN do. There’s a lot I have no memory of after being hit by a car, but I do remember when a friend asked what brings me joy. Easy answer. Birds, birds, birds! I’ll try again to figure out how to opt in to your other newsletter. Following written directions is just one thing that I still stumble with but I’ll try again. 😆 Thanks for sharing so much. Yes you’re helping others in more ways than you can imagine. 🙏
Thank you, Diana. Recovery never ends after a TBI; I was on a podcast this morning about TBI recovery and while everyone's injury is different, one consistency seems to be that neuroplasticity is a wonder.
Another undeniable truth is that birds are magical and make life feel worthwhile. It was the chase of birds that led to my TBI, and it was the case of birds that got me through the hardest parts of recovery.
To opt in, just go to your settings, go to Rock and Hawk, and then select that you wnat "Onward." I think I'm going to make it so people automatically subscribe when they do to Rock and Hawk. Makes more sense to have people go through effort to opt out than to opt in.
Thank you so much for reading.
I like your idea of receiving both newsletters with one sign up where we can opt out of one or the other in the future. Thanks and continued healing and great birding for you.
What a beautifully shared journey James. I’m happy Larissa tells you it’s cool, because it is. Succeeding at law school while pushing that large stone uphill is worth shouting about to the world. What takes an uninsured brain with clear vision to accomplish is not even in the same ballpark as what you are achieving. Wear it proudly. You are a true representation of determination and success, and now, sustaining love during one of the most demanding challenges of your life (law school…). Proud of you, my friend.
Thank you so much Teyani. I know you understand this type of adversity better than most. You are a source of dauntless inspiration. Uphill medical battles are terrible, but are also extremely clarifying. What matters? What warrants worry? What doesn't? It's a high price for those answers, but if it has to be paid, those answers are valuable.
Sorry ‘bout that dumb computer auto correct… it should have said uninjured not uninsured. Geesh.
No worries Teyani--I knew what you meant!
Less severe TBI, but similar area injured, I think. The docs didn’t tell me at the time, along with not telling me when I left the hospital about my broken eardrum drum or nerve damage (crocodile tearing syndrome). Different times. Went back to college with massive vertigo from the broken ear drum and difficulty ordering anything with Swiss cheese due to the brain injury. The vertigo resolved. Some consonants are still more troublesome than others.
Sorry for the delay in replying! I am so sorry about your broken ear drum, and that some consonants still pose issues sometimes. I have days where speech feels great then others it feels like years of progress were undone, then the next it's good again. TBI is a lifelong ordeal, we've just gotta keep pushing. Thank you for reading.
Sending you love and support and acceptance, James.
Thank you, Amanda.
This is a meaningful piece, James, and I recognize the courage and fortitude it represents. Thank you for sharing; one step at a time is a useful framing, and so is the dark humor and defiance of some great thinkers. You've added to this narrative/history of thought.
Thank you, Jesse. I always appreciate you reading, and I appreciate that you took the time to comment. I hope your hunting season was a good one.
You're a beast! Proud of you man.
Thanks Rob. 7 in 7 any day now.
You do wear a cool eye patch. I'm glad you are embracing who you are in this moment. You are multi-faceted as you noted. This was a great read James. I am humbled in my own discomfort and pain by your embrace of your own.
Thank you so much Pamela. We all get our own share of discomfort and we gain a working familiarity with it eventually.
James, Yes, we do “all get our own share of discomfort.” Some of us get more than others, but we learn to manage what we get, absolutely. I am working on the latest iteration of my discomfort trying to figure out what’s next. I just know I will keep moving forward, that is a given!
"The longer I live with my disability, the more I write about it... it defines me. My charge is to ensure it defines me in a meaningful way." You are a hell of a writer with a hell of a story, James. What you share is relevant to each and every one of us. You continue to inspire.
"I push my stone each day. It will roll. I’ll push. I can either see that as unfair misery or find joy in pushing. I choose joy. " I understand the wisdom in this! As I age ( and I am old, old, old), every day is a stone to push. But I am grateful for each morning I wake up and I will continue seeking the joy in it. Push. Breathe. Laugh. It is the best we can do.
Sharron, I appreciate your comment, kindness, and taking the time to read. Thank you so much. Shouldering a stone is all about perspective--whether that stone is age, disability, anything. We all have something. Breathe, laugh, push; gratitude.
As always your photos are amazing. I think this time, the straight on face of the cormorant, his bright orange face and blue eyes was astounding!
I wish you the best on your healing journey.
Thank you so much, Sheryl.
Thanks. I hope I opted in correctly. Yes, the eyepatch is a positive.
Thank you Jackson, for reading and for being team-eyepatch.